When making phone calls to bad girls like me.

If you have a nosey roommate, paranoid wife or girlfriend:

For starters, using a phonecard is always a good idea if you are placing a call you don't want your wife to know about it.

You should know that most cordless phones not only keep track of your incoming calls, but also the ones you dial.

If possible, I recommend using a cheap corded phone for making your freaky calls. For the following reasons:

1. The privacy factor...they can't get picked up by cordless phones in your area and/or by scanners. (I had this happen to me once when I lived in California).

2. They do not keep track of your calls on a digital display. (if you get the right kind).

After your call, remember to dial "information," "time," or even just a single digit. This way, if anyone picks up the phone after your call and tries to use the "redial" feature on your phone, they can't reach the floozy you have been talking to.

Having at least one corded phone in your home is always a good idea. You will thank me if your power ever goes out.

When using your cell phone, remember to clear your history OFTEN, if you do it regularly, those times you NEED to clear it will seem less suspicious.

Finally, .try to get paperless billing for any kind of phone. Most companies have no problem e-mailing you a bill. With paperless billing you avoid that letter in the mail with a list of phone calls you have made.

Remember, being sneaky isn't bad...getting caught is!